How did I come to love God?
The Seed
It all started with a seed.
“Focus on your 3 Feet”
One day a man told me to “focus on my 3 feet“. I will forever be thankful for this day and this person. What he was saying was, that I had so much going on, I should just focus on the 3 feet around me, meaning everything within my physical reach. The implication was not to worry about everything else outside of my 3 feet, no matter how large a burden or responsibility it may seem, at least that was how I took it. Most of my worries were of things outside of my reach. So I started letting go of my worries and logically assumed that when those things came within my 3 feet, I would confront them then.
That decision, quickly resulted in me being happier every day a little more, which was becoming noticeable in my everyday ability to conquer and problem solve. I began to take back ground in my life and slowly I was letting go of a lot of unnecessary stress.
And I so began to protect my newfound joy. Little did I know, with each decision I made, I had began to put FAITH back into God, unwittingly. I believe this happened almost as an immediate side effect of each decision I made. My FAITH began to grow. This wasn’t on purpose, but God has a plan for all of us, whether we know it or not, or go willingly or not. I learned this later.
Building Faith
My life began to change rapidly. There were so many days when I needed something and God provided it, I have lost count at this point. Many of the obvious financial blessings stand out.
For example, a few times I knew I needed $10,000-$30,000 within a few days or weeks to make my bills. On several occasions, this happened, where I knowingly set the burden aside to God, I prayed, declared my needs and within moments, I received what I needed to the dollar. You may hear things like this from people sometimes, but I want to make it very clear for those reading. The day prior to my son Daniel being born September 28th, 2022, I put my hand on my wife’s stomach and said “We need $30,000 Danny”. This wasn’t the first time I did this. While at the hospital, Hurricane Ian began to hit the State of Florida and I got a call for some emergency work, and that resulted in almost exactly $30,000. I didn’t even have to leave the hospital. I literally made about $30,000 on the phone in 24 hours.
There were a few more days where I declared a need of $10,000, and within about an hour I got a call and a job for that amount. The ask and the receiving happened so quick sometimes, it made my head spin.
I still did not have a the kind of loving relationship with God as I do now.
Building Love
At this point, I was starting to LOVE God. Honestly, I had just begun to love myself. I didn’t know HE loved (me), or what that really meant. I had no clue what it meant to love God either. That would all change eventually. At this point, I only knew how important FAITH was. God had clearly shown me that FAITH was a key ingredient to preserving your joy and happiness. I knew at minimum loving yourself is important and that starts with finding true peace and joy within yourself and then protecting it and carrying it with you.
I learned later that through FAITH, we can start a real relationship with THE MOST HIGH GOD OF ALL CREATION! This was exciting to me. I knew God was paying attention to me, I didn’t know why he cared, but I was walking on eggshells, trying to at minimum stay happy, and try to spread that joy if I could. I was starting to love God. I was searching for a way to send my love back.
Through these months of getting to know what FAITH was, I made sure I always did my best to do my part. Any small thing I could do to push things forward, I would do, no matter how trivial or bazaar it seemed to me logically. I didn’t care what other’s thought of me, if I knew I could make a difference in my life here or there, I would, regardless of how tough the work was or embarrassing the public fallout may be. I didn’t want God to think I was just going to ask Him to solve all of my problems, I knew I had to take responsibility for what was at my door.
One day in the next year I decided I would confront God. I realized I couldn’t continue being happy and also solve the problems in front of me without some kind of supernatural intervention. I knew I was going to have to sacrifice my joy, and that – I wasn’t willing to do anymore. I knew God was listening. God had clearly shown Himself to me several times recently and many times in my life. I knew He was real. I wanted to know He cared about what I cared about.
This was definitely a cornerstone in my life where I came to know God as a caring Father. Below is a brief overview of that moment.
FATHERS DAY 2023
The day I surrendered.
I was pulling myself out of rock bottom facing many oncoming challenges.
June 15th, 2023 the day before Father’s Day, a tango of Love began between God and I.
Being a person who seeks thrills and enjoys risk taking, rebuilding in life wasn’t too much of a task to conquer for me. I enjoy problem solving. I’ve thrown quite a few hail mary’s in my day. I was conquering life in general as it would seem from the outside but I was very unhappy still.
This day I decided I wasn’t going to continue the charade of winning without being able to keep the joy and peace I had been able to find recently. I decided I didn’t have a good enough reason to not at least ask God for help in this obstacle.
So, I threw my hands to the sky for a few hours that night. I talked to God. I cried out. And I asked Him to show me He could bring me peace and joy through the oncoming trials I knew were in front of me.
I knew there was no way I could do this by myself. I figured my neighbors probably thought I was a lunatic in my front yard with my hands up for hours, but I didn’t care. I just focused on God.
I feel as though this was the moment when I truly surrendered to God.
The next day God thanked me.
The next day I took a trip, but little did I know God was 10 steps ahead of me.
You should know I own a moving company.
I went to pick up my truck where it was hidden from the repo man. I stashed it out of town a day or two earlier when I was told by the finance company that my account was under review and the repossession was imminent. Keep in mind about 9 months prior this, I talked the repo man into dropping my truck when he had it up in the air. I wasn’t afraid of dealing with a repossession, I was just done holding onto the past, it was taking my joy.
Part of what led to this decision was my choice to walk away from a bankruptcy I was in. I was using the bankruptcy to protect my truck and had a court ordered stay in place on my assets. The bankruptcy payment became so expensive, that between the other debts I had and keeping the insurance for the truck, I was paying almost $3,000 per month to keep the truck. I managed this for a while, but eventually missed an insurance payment and in Florida that means my drivers license was suspended as well after a week or so.
This all happened in the prior week or two.
So, I drove with no insurance, a suspended drivers license and a 470 credit score fresh out of a dismissed bankruptcy with the repo man searching for me – to the same dealer who financed that truck to me a few years prior to get an appraisal.
This was my final shot at an appraisal, and I was going to part the truck out next… I had some of my own aftermarket parts on it. I wasn’t sure if I could get any money out of the truck, but I didn’t have $17,000 to pay immediately. I wasn’t sure if I’d even make it to the dealer or off the lot given the circumstances.
One thing I was sure of, was that between God and I, I’d find another way to move forward without this truck. I didn’t know if I’d have to rent trucks, buy a cheap truck to fix, or what I’d have to do. I just knew this: I had to pivot to protect my joy – and I kept my FAITH strong.
I figured I would do what I could and didn’t really care what happened. I was focused on moving forward with peace and joy and I wasn’t going to get in my own way at this point, or live life looking over my shoulder.
God made a way for me to walk out of that dealership with a new truck that day.
God’s presence in my life increased drastically.
The very next day…
It was Fathers Day. And I had a new Father. I was anxious and excited.
So of course I was talking to God quite a bit. I had a moving job rescheduled from the day prior which I missed due to the bamboozling God did on me. I finished signing the papers for my new truck around 6:15 p.m. Saturday and so later that night I agreed to do this job at 9 a.m. that Sunday morning after. My helper called out at 6 a.m. so I was on my own.
I didn’t have a hitch on my truck because the old one was seized up on the old truck. I was able to get a new class V hitch at 8:30 a.m. and get to my job at 9:00 a.m. – a good 30 minutes away, right on time, but by myself.
I knew I had God with me. I was going to move two pianos. I’ve moved pianos alone before, but this isn’t always possible. I figured I wouldn’t burden the customer again, and instead do my best to get the job done by myself. I just prayed along the way.
When I showed up, I couldn’t get my truck and trailer into the property. It was in the woods and there was no way I could get in. The passage was just too small for my 42ft long combination. So I parked and walked into the property and knocked on the door.
I greeted the tenant at the door and told him Happy Father’s Day, I saw his child walking around and he showed me the pianos. He then began to say something to me I couldn’t quite understand, so he repeated himself a few times. Turns out the customer’s tenant was a mover too, he was telling me “I’m a mover too!”. I knew God was already ahead of me at this point, I was starting to see there was a way to do this job, I’d just have to be patient.
The property was all dirt and up in the air about 5ft. There was no way I could do this on my own, without some kind of clever thinking. The man suggested an idea to me and offered to help. We decided we would split the money for the job, and his landlord, my customer was happy to get her pianos out of his house.
The troubles weren’t over yet though…
The idea was to drop my trailer away from the house and use my ramp off of his deck directly into my pickup truck bed, one piano at a time. The landlord’s house was on the adjacent property and we could dig out an old fence and make a path to her house, which was also inaccessible for a moving truck. Then we could use the ramp off of my pickup truck bed to her deck and unload into her home.
I thought about it for a minute and asked him if he had a shovel. Oh how the shovel had become a major part of my life…but that’s another story.
We dug out the fence and loaded the first piano up. Immediately upon backing up to the destination, the truck got stuck in sugar sand…because of course it did. This was the first time I’d ever gotten stuck in sand on a job. I panicked for a second, but then glanced down and saw a 4 Wheel Drive shifter… I had forgotten for a second that God blessed me with my first 4WD truck the day before. And so with a half a click and a turn of the wheel I was out in 5 seconds and we completed the job.
So that worked out too.
God Loves You
God’s love is beyond our own understanding. God is way ahead of us. No matter how much we feel like things are all on us, we have to remember it’s not. There are so many parts of life that are outside of our control for a reason only God knows. We have to remember that at all times.
My best advice to everyone is to use your joy as your guiding light. If something threatens your joy and happiness you need to take a moment to analyze and work through it with God. Remember God loves you and He wants you to be happy.
Jesus died for us. He took the pain and suffering when He died on the cross. We do not have to carry our suffering with us.
Lay it down to Him.
May God Be With You All!
Chris